<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>not for eating by jiunnie</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27994644">not for eating</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiunnie/pseuds/jiunnie'>jiunnie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boys Kissing, Canon Compliant, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sexual Confusion, soft!exo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:36:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,171</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27994644</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiunnie/pseuds/jiunnie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sure, the first time might have been a mistake. But Yixing shows Sehun that even first kisses get second shots. </p><p>(based on the infamous pepero kiss)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Oh Sehun/Zhang Yi Xing | Lay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>not for eating</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sehun gripped the edges of the washbasin, chest heaving. His jaw was starting to hurt from how tightly he had his teeth clenched. Yet, all he could focus on was the horrible feeling clawing its way up his throat, one that was threatening to emerge as a fully-formed sob.</p><p>His heart pounding in his ear, Sehun stared at the white tiles before him, trying to fight the tears. His brain was refusing to cooperate. In his mind’s eye, all he could see was everything that had just taken place, a flashing montage of pure mortification.</p><p>And yet… it wasn’t quite the same as mortification. Sehun thought about the way Yixing hyung’s eyelids fluttered close, the tickle of warm breath just before their lips touched, and, when their lips actually did touch, how…</p><p>How what? Sehun was hyperventilating before he knew it, each breath coming sharp and fast and painful. He felt confused and so incredibly silly. To think he’d been so pleased to be chosen, the fondness he’d felt inside spreading across his face in a grin before he could have stopped it. But then it’d all happened, and Yixing was laughing and yelling and everyone was reacting with varying degrees of mockery and Sehun had never felt so exposed in his life.</p><p>Thinking of everyone made Sehun even more aware of how much time he was wasting. The rest were expecting him back any minute now. The very thought of going out there again and having to face the other members’ penetrating gazes—</p><p>It was getting increasingly harder to breathe, his palms going numb against the tiles.</p><p>“Sehun,” a voice was suddenly calling out, and then hands were on his shoulders and Yixing was in his face, staring wide-eyed.</p><p>“—Sehun?”</p><p>Sehun could only continue gasping lightly as Yixing rubbed circles into his back.</p><p>“Hey. Breathe.”</p><p>Slowly, Sehun found his chest expanding in pace with Yixing’s steady hand movements.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Yixing asked, voice small, once Sehun’s breathing had evened out somewhat. The numbness in his hands had dwindled down to a faint tingling sensation.</p><p>Sehun didn’t reply; his breath was shaky as he nodded. He was gazing back at Yixing without really seeing him.</p><p>“It’s about earlier, isn’t it?” For some reason, Yixing sounded tentative, like he was afraid of Sehun’s response. Or maybe just of Sehun himself? Sehun couldn’t help but notice that Yixing had already removed his hands from Sehun’s back, having taken a couple of steps back to rest lightly on the edge of the sink. Sehun felt a sudden rush of humiliation.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Yixing said, which was crazy to Sehun because he had nothing to apologise for. The same uncertainty in his voice was present in his eyes. “It must have upset you a lot, right?”</p><p>“—No,” Sehun was blurting out before he knew it. Somehow it seemed crucial to clarify that point. “I wasn’t-I’m not—upset that it happened.”</p><p>Yixing looked surprised. “Then what is it?”</p><p>The question sounded so gentle that, before he could help himself, Sehun was mumbling forth his dumb, ridiculous feelings.</p><p>“I just never imagined it would happen like that.”</p><p>“What would?”</p><p>“A first—“</p><p>Yixing stared, aghast. “It was your first…?”</p><p>Sehun hated being pitied even more than he hated being vulnerable, and the realisation that Yixing was feeling sorry for him was enough to make a lump rise to his throat. He blinked to try clearing his mind, and in the space of those few seconds, Yixing had straightened up, and was now standing to face him squarely.</p><p>They were so close now, Yixing having opened his mouth to say something, that it seemed only natural for Sehun to lean forward and—hesitantly yet determinedly—press his lips against Yixing’s.</p><p>There was a moment of agonising stillness as Yixing froze at the contact, but then they were pushing against each other at the same time with the same force and Sehun could barely keep up with the sudden flurry of activity. His ears rang from the sheer incredulity. Sure, he’d been the one to initiate the kiss, but—</p><p>Yixing was tilting his head now, pressing in even closer to Sehun, and the way his lips felt on Sehun’s was a total hundred eighty from earlier. So much warmth and plumpness and the slightest remaining hint of sugar. And so, so soft… Sehun barely registered how his arms hung uselessly at his sides until Yixing reached out to cup the nape of his neck.</p><p>With a sharp intake of breath, Sehun did the same in return, using his fingers to play with the edges of Yixings ears. Yixing exhaled, humming lowly, and with a quick nibble on Sehun’s bottom lip, started to run his tongue along Sehun’s mouth.</p><p>All at once, Sehun was overwhelmed. He felt his throat tighten; he didn’t even have the presence of mind to freak out. This time, he didn’t stop the tears from falling. They ran quietly down his face until he was tasting them, warm and salty, slippery against their mouths. He licked them away from Yixing’s lips softly, not breaking the contact.</p><p>Yixing suddenly flinched. With a start, they separated.</p><p>“Sehun…?”</p><p>But Sehun didn’t want to talk. He jerked forward and wordlessly caught Yixing’s mouth with his own. He was probing further now, pressing against Yixing earnestly, the taste of tears and Yixing full on his tongue.</p><p>And Yixing was letting him. That simple fact sat resolutely in Sehun’s mind, his heart hammering as he let it sink in. Time seemed to stretch on; the seconds became long enough to allow them to continue standing there, two people with way too much to do, just kissing silently like they could afford to.</p><p>Yixing smiled as he pulled away from Sehun. He was so disarmingly beautiful, his eyes gentle, his dimples as pronounced and lovely as ever. Sehun was, quite suitably, rendered speechless.</p><p>The air hung heavy between them.</p><p>“Was that better?” Yixing was asking, after a beat. To Sehun’s surprise, he felt a silly smile plastered on his own face, entirely beyond his control.</p><p>“You’re-it—was nice,” he said, completely candid. “Very nice. Extremely nice. Much nicer. I think it was much better. Went much better.”</p><p>“Slow down, casanova,” Yixing laughed. He appeared pleased nonetheless. “Let’s head back, okay?”</p><p>Sehun hummed his assent, but quickly turned serious for a moment before speaking.</p><p>“Thank you. I mean it.”</p><p>Yixing’s hand was unexpectedly warm as he grabbed hold of Sehun’s.</p><p>“You know you don’t have to mention it.”</p><p>Just as they were about to exit the washroom, however, a wild thought entered Sehun’s mind. He tugged at Yixing’s arm right as Yixing was reaching for the door.</p><p>“Hyung?”</p><p>Yixing looked at him expectantly.</p><p>“Let’s do this again another time. Can we?”</p><p>Yixing’s face broke into a grin. “Without peperos?”</p><p>Sehun squeezed his left hand, which was still grasped in Yixing’s right. “And definitely without the crying.”</p><p>Still hand in hand, they stepped out of the washroom and into the deserted corridor of the studio.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>